Dreams Of Our Fathers
by Chex Egan
Summary: James and the Gang are in 7th year, and James finds himself thinking about his father. What had his father hoped to achieve, if anything at all? Could James do what his father couldn’t? James questions himself, through rethinking events that occurred, e


  
  
Dreams Of Our Fathers  
  
_ I don't want to wake up,  
Lost in the dreams of our fathers.  
Oh it's such a waste child,  
To live and die for the dreams of our fathers._  
  
- 'Dreams Of Our Fathers' – Dave Matthews Band.  
  
"Dad! Dad! Daaaad! Look at me!" James Potter called out to his father, as the ten year old went zooming past on a vroom.

"Yeah! Wonderful James, brilliant." Nicholas Potter said, looking distractedly at his wife, Emily, as she bent over in their front garden.

"Dad – I'm over here," James grinned cheekily, "Stop checking mum out – would you? Watch me?!"

Emily stood up, turned and smiled at her husband, rolling her eyes. "Honestly Nicholas."

"Sorry!" Nicholas grinned the same grin James' wore only moments earlier.

"Dad! Check this!" James said, standing up on his Vroom, using both his hands to balance.

"Getting good there, James, you could be on your house's quidditch team! The Gryffindor Quidditch Team." He added.

"Ravenclaw, honey. Ravenclaw." Emily teased, picking out some herbs.

"No – James is going to be in Gryffindor, aren't you?" He said, ruffling James' hair as the boy zoomed past.

"Thanks a lot for this Vroom Dad. Shame it doesn't go any higher then this."

"Any higher – and the Ministry of Magic will be after you."

"Yeah," James grinned, "But they can't exactly get me – I mean, if I go any higher."

"Good that you can't then, hey?" Nicholas laughed. "When you're old enough, we'll buy you a broom."

"A Comet?"

"Better." Nicholas delighted in seeing James' eyes widen.

"...And where your father thinks he's going to get money to purchase a broom, better then a comet – is beyond me," Emily shook her head.

"Aww! Come on Mum! I could be big! I could go-"James let out a melodramatic gasp, "Pro!"

"Professional what? Doofus?" Nicholas laughed.

"Yeah – that too." James grinned.

Nicholas walked over to his wife, and wrapped an arm around her, "Come on Emily," He said softly, "Let's go inside. We've had enough gardening for one day."

"Nicholas – What do you mean, We've? I only started gardening fifteen minutes ago!" Emily said, in protest.

"I know – but that's too long by my standards." Nicholas smiled.

James flew over to where his father stood, and pulled up on the front of his Vroom – causing it to come to a stand-still. "Hey Dad – you up for a game of 'Garage's and Goblins' ?"

"Yeah sure!" He nodded his head, "Gryffindor for you, right? James?"

"Hopefully. What are the other houses again?" James asked, taking his father's hand and leading the man towards the house, his Vroom under his arm.

"Well – there's Gryffindor, the house I was in, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw – that's the house your mother was in, and Slytherin."

"Slytherin?"

"Yep – Slytherin."

"I hope I'm in Gryffindor, Dad." James said brightly, holding the door open for his mother.  
  
_I don't want to disappoint you._

* * *

"James, uh James – are you okay?" Sirius Black asked James as they sat by the burning fires in the prefects common room.

"Yeah – sorry. Is it your move or mine?" He said, returning his gaze to the chessboard that lay before them.

"...Neither – We're not actually playing..." Sirius said, his eyes darting to James.

"Oh." James replied.

"Are you okay, James?" Sirius asked, his face etched with concern.

"Yeah, ofcourse I am!" James said, trying to sound his usual perky self. "So – are we going to play or just sit here, thinking about playing?"

"Well maybe we should think about playing elsewhere – I'm not actually meant to be in here, Remember James – you're the prefect, not me?"

"Oh. Yeah."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah – we should probably get out of here then, hey?"

"Yeah." Sirius agreed.

The pair pulled down on the viser of the knight in shining armour's helmet, opening the door to the prefect's common room, allowing them out.

"SIRIUS BLACK! What on earth are you doing in the prefects common room?!" Minerva McGonagall's sharp, shrill voice rang out from down the corridor.

"Ah, James...Little help?" Sirius whispered, tugging on James' sleeve. It was pointless though, James was gone, inside himself, again.

* * *

"James! When will you learn? You never, never, add the wormwood infusion – before you've added the hazelnut shavings. When will you learn?!"

"Sorry dad." James replied. "They haven't taught us this yet, in potions, second years don't really focus on this aspect too much."

Nicholas mixed the potion, shaking his head, "Sorry James. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm just under so much stress recently, the ministry's in a huge dilemma – I'm sorry James."

"It's okay, Dad."

"No – It's not, I shouldn't of yelled at you."

"Dad," James began, "It's okay – everyone gets a little stressed out sometimes, you should see our quidditch captain, when Arthur gets stressed – this vein, under his red hair pulsates –"

"Arthur Weasley?"

"Yeah – why, you know him?"

"His dad's a good man."  
  
_I'm going to be a 'good man' too Dad, just watch._

* * *

"Potter. Black. Explain yourselves."

"Sorry?" James asked.

"Sorry's not good enough, James."

"Huh?"

"You know very well, Potter, Sirius is not allowed in the prefects common room – it is reserved for prefects only. What were you doing in there, Sirius?"

"James had to get his charms book."

"And he needed your company?"

"Ofcourse Minerva..." Sirius joked, his face grinning.

"Professor McGonagal to you Sirius. If I see you in there again, you'll lose points for Gryffindor. Right –both of you, on your way." And with that Professor McGonagal turned and briskly walked down the corridor.

Sirius paused, and ducked, holding James from blocking his view – he watched McGonagal's rear until it disappeared from his sight. He sighed miserably, "If only she were seven years younger – I'd so have something going for her."

"Sirius – she was finishing here, when we started." James said, scratching his head.

"Yeah – she was good looking then, too!"

"Sirius – you can't be serious!"

Sirius turned to James and smiled, "Do you want me to answer that?"

"...No. She's a teacher for crying out loud!" "

Teacher - smeacher." Sirius shrugged. "Apply doo dah poo pah preacher!"

* * *

"James! JAMES! Turn that music down! It's pounding through the walls! I told you Emily, we shouldn't have gotten that boy a – what do you call it? Stupid muggle invention. Music – blarer."

"They're called stereos, Nicky."

"Stereos..."

"Hey all – what times dinner, and can Sirius come 'round?" Third-year, James asked.

"Yes, sure, James - have you done all your homework?"

"Mmhmm."

"James?" Emily raised her eyebrow.

"Sirius is going to help me."

"Dinner will be on at seven, and Sirius can come round." Emily replied, "If that's okay with your father?"

"Yep, fine – just keep that stereo down, okay?"

"Yeah – sure dad."

"Hey James?"

"Yes Mum?"

"Why not ask those other fellows around?"

"...other fellows?"

"Yeah – Ramon..."

"Ramon?"

"Remon..."

"Oh! Remus, mum. Remus."

"Yes! And the quiet boy."

"Peter?"

"Yes – why don't you ask Remus and Peter to come around too? You boys can all sleep over...and do whatever it is you boys do."

"Secret men's business, Emily – dig no deeper." Nicholas winked at James.

"Great! I'll go and call them now! ...Say, if they bring sleeping bags – can we sleep in the roof?"

"...Now James..."

"I don't think that's..."

"...incredibly wise..."

"Aww – come on you guys!" James pleaded.

Nicholas looked at Emily and shrugged, "Fine."

"Yes!" James punched the air and ran out into the hallway to grab the phone. "You can trust us up there – I promise!"  
  
_You can trust me – I promise._

* * *

"James? ...James? What's up with him, Sirius?" Remus asked, as the three of them sat at the Gryffindor table for dinner that evening.

"I have no idea." Sirius replied, "He's more weirder then usual tonight."

"James...? Oy James!" Remus said, poking James in the arm.

"Ouch – what was that for?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing!"

"You were ages away then – what were you thinking about?"

A smile formed on James' face, "Do you guys remember that time you guys slept over...would have been in third year. We slept in the roof – in our sleeping bags."

"Ofcourse I remember it," Sirius grinned, "That was so much fun. Remus falling through the roof and into the bathroom is something not easily forgotten – trust me."

"Hey – when you've got to go, you've got to go." Remus smiled.

"Through the floor?"

Remus shrugged. "Your dad got pretty mad about that though, didn't he, James?"

"No – not really. My parents thought it was pretty funny actually."

"Your parents are cool," Peter said sitting down with them, "I remember that night – my parents would have freaked."

"Hey Pete – where you been?"

"Library."

"...Why?" Sirius asked. "Final exams are coming up soon, Sirius...I want to be ready."

"Suit yourself." Sirius shrugged.

"It's easy for you guys," Peter continued, "Go through school – barely studying, and passing all your exams, I have to study."

"Fair enough," Remus said. "That was a good night, Potter. Thanks for the laughs."

"Thanking me for the laughs? Ha! You're the one that had to pee, and upon getting up, fell through the roof, landing in standing position, before the toilet. Can you imagine how funny that was? I was laughing so hard – I should have followed you down, my bladder was going to burst!" Sirius, James, Remus and Peter all began laughing uncontrollably – Sirius just managing to suppress his laughter, "And then...your mum coming in, was priceless. Just walking into the bathroom – minding her own business, and bam! Remus is there, emptying his bladder." He adopted Emily's voice, 'Oh Remus. Nice of you to drop in.' Priceless!"

* * *

"See James – now you're a fourth year, I'll let you on a big secret. You've just got to know how to treat a lady, and they're all yours." Nicholas was sitting in a comfy, lounge chair, Emily on his lap. "Like, take for instance, your mother. What do you think was the first thing I said to her?"

"Uhh. Could you move please, I can't see the board?" James grinned.

Nicholas and Emily laughed, "No-"Emily said, "Close – but no. We were in an auditorium and it was a oddly-sloping type theatre. Your father arriving late, finds his friends but seats at the lowest point of the theatre – having to look up the slope to see the professor. Upon seeing me standing near the top, blocking his view, he says, 'Hey! Down above!' To which I replied, 'No! Up below!'"

"To which I replied, rather grossly, 'It is! Trust me, it is!'" Nicholas winked.

James burst out in a fit of laughter, "You guys are kidding me, right?"

"Yes – ofcourse. You think your mother would have married me if my opening lines were related to what was occurring in my pants?"

James laughed, "So what was your opening line?"

"I can't remember now," Nicholas said, struggling to recall something he didn't have stored, "I guess just, make yourself known – let the girl know who you are. And try to be funny – but don't appear to be trying to be funny – cause that's just...not funny."

"Wise words," Emily said, sarcasm lacing her voice.

"They'll have your tongue for that," Nicholas said, kissing Emily.

"Why are you asking about relationships, James? Some special girl wander into your life?" Emily asked, curiously

"Uh. Um. No." James said, slightly blushing.

"Go on, James – tell me who!" Nicholas grinned.

"Uh...No one, dad. I'll be in my room – if anyone needs me." James rushed up the stairs and into his bedroom.

"There's someone." Nicholas said.

"Ofcourse there is." Emily smiled. "And if I know my son, her name is Lily Evans and her phone number is 9635-1278."

Nicholas looked bewildered. "How on earth...?"

"I do the clothes-washing, don't I? Both the males in this house seem to leave things in their pant-pockets."

* * *

"Maybe he should see Madam Pomfrey – or something." Peter suggested.

"Who?" James asked.

"You." Remus said, "We're worried about you."

"Me? I'm right! Don't be daft."

"Daft," A voice sneered, "How could you lot not be daft?"

"Rack off, Snape." Peter growled.

"Wise words from a weasel." Snape retorted.

"We know what you're doing, Peter" Lucius Malfoy winked. "Sly. Very sly."

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked.

"It's just them – talking the same old crap," James replied.

"You heard the man, rack off." Remus repeated.

"Oooh – I'm terrified, aren't you Severus?" Lucius mocked.

"Oh – trembling Lucius. Trembling."

"Come – let's leave these pansies to their -. Whatever it is pansies do. We'll see you around, Peter." Lucius winked.

After they'd left, Sirius turned to Peter. "Pete – what were they on about?"

"Nothing Sirius. Nothing at all."

* * *

"Now James. Is there anything you want to discuss with me...you know – about this Lily girl? Or girls in general."

"No, dad." James blushed.

"James – don't blush. It's just me, your old man! And we're having a man-to- man, here. I mean, you are what? Fifth year now?"

"Yeah, fifth year, old man."

"Well maybe, just maybe, you and Lily want to start, uh, experimenting-"

"Dad – stop."

"Stop?"

"Lily and I aren't even dating – I haven't asked her out yet. How you found out about her – I have no idea. And considering we're not dating – it's highly unlikely that we'd be experimenting."

"But just incase something does happen – I'm sure you'll want to know how everything works, where to put your –"

"I'll be...uh, right. I promise."

"James – you're going to have to learn the facts of life sometime or other. I mean, if you don't know where... or how – then ask."

"Yeah – Dad, if I have any questions, I'll ask. Promise."

"I'm glad you and I can talk like this." Nicholas smiled, "Now is it just me, or are you up for a butterbeer?"

"Thank God." James breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
_I hear you now, Dad._

* * *

"Sirius – you awake?" Remus hissed as he lay in his four-post bed.

"Ofcourse, I'm awake – Peter's snoring again." James laughed.

"You make it sound as if he's sleeping in the same bed as you!"

"...He is." Sirius tried to keep a straight face, "I have something to confess to you guys..."

James and Remus broke out in hysterical laughter, Sirius soon joined them. "Ssh! You guys will wake Peter." Sirius said.

"Is that a bad thing?" James asked.

"Yeah. I wanted to ask you guys, what did you think Malfoy and Snape meant?" Remus asked.

"I, personally have no idea." James said.

"Why would Pete be involved with them?" Remus asked.

"No idea." Sirius asked. "Unless they all work at some strip joint under the names, Fiery, Storm and Gertrude – Malfoy being the latter."

"Oh yeah, Gertrude!" James laughed. "I'd go there, just to see Malfoy strip down to his undies."

"No way – that'd be just wrong."

"Okay – new strip club. Sirius' Shack. Now hiring. Who do you guys want to work there – I'll organise it, I've got connections." Sirius adopted his sleeziest tone. "Now serving – Minnerva McGonagal."

James and Remus let out sighs of disgust, "Sirius! Get over it!"

"Fine!" he said defensively – "Who do you guys want?"

"That chick – that sits in the front row in transfiguration." Remus said.

"Be a bit more specific – there are many 'chicks' that sit in the front row in transfiguration, friend."

"The brunette."

"Michelle Plateria?" James asked.

"Yeah, her." Remus said, thankful that the others couldn't see him blush.

"Right. Sirius' Shack – now serving, Michelle Plateria and Minnerva McGonagal. As a joke," He added at James' sigh. "No – I'm being serious. As if I'd have a thing for McGonagal! Jamesy? Who can I get you?"

"Lily. And lots of her."

* * *

Lily slipped her small, fragile hand into James' and gave his hand a squeeze.

"She's gone, Lily. Gone." James said, a tear sliding down his cheek.

Lily hugged James tightly, "She's gone to a better place now, James. She'll be right."

"I know she will," He sobbed, "My dad..."

He looked up to where his father was standing, watching as Emily's coffin was lowered into the ground.

"Then be strong James, for him." Lily murmured, kissing James shortly on the lips. He let go of her hand and walked over to where his dad was standing, his head bowed. Nicholas looked up at his son, his eyes full of tears, "I'm sorry, James."

"Dad..." James said, hugging the man and squeezing him tightly. "What have you got to be sorry for – she's happier now. Mum's happier now." James patted his father on the back, as the man sobbed desperately into James' shoulder. "it's okay, dad. It's okay."

"No-"He said angrily, "It's not okay! If I'd arrived five minutes earlier, like when I said I'd pick her up – I could have stopped them hurting her! I could have stopped the death eaters hurting her..."

"Dad – you couldn't of – there were twenty of them, Dad – there's nothing you could have done. She's happier now – it'll be okay dad."

"No. No – it won't be okay, James" He cried, "Don't you see? It's getting worse, he's getting stronger. James, it could all be over before the end of the year – you might not even get to see seventh year! Finish Hogwarts! He's getting stronger, James."

"Dad – calm down. It's okay, the Ministry of Magic is handling it, it's okay." James squeezed his father once more, before releasing the man.

"It won't be okay, James." Nicholas sobbed, "And I won't rest until that's fixed."  
  
_Neither will I._

* * *

James got out of his bed, slipped on his gown and crept down the stairs and into the Gryffindor Common Room. There he met Lily, holding her hand and without saying a word, they made their way out of the common room and tiptoed down various corridors. When they arrived at the outside knight in shining armour – James pulled down the viser and led Lily into the Prefects common room. When the door closed behind them, James turned and smiled at Lily. "Goodmorning Ms. Evans," he bowed melodramatically.

"Good morning Lord Potter," She curtsied and offered him, her hand. He kissed it, and pulling her into a hug, kissed her sweetly and softly on her lips. "Are you okay, James?" She asked, after a while.

"Why is everyone asking me that today?"

"Just wondering," Lily shrugged, and kissed James.

"Why? Am I kissing differently?"

"Well – now that you've mentioned it..." Lily smiled mischievously. The pair sat down before the still burning fire (James had befriended the Prefect House Elf – Ernie, and he knew the two liked to have the fire burning at ungodly hours of the morning.) and James sighed. "What are you thinking about?" Lily asked, her head resting on his shoulders.

"Thanks for coming to my mum's funeral last year."

"That was no problem, Jamesie. You know I'm here for you, right?" Lily asked.

"Yeah Lady Lily. I know it."

"Good," She said, turning to him, kissing him. 'I'll show my dad, experimenting' James thought, as he pulled Lily on top of him, kissing her.

* * *

I don't want to disappoint you.  
  
I'm going to be a 'good man' too Dad, just watch.  
  
You can trust me – I promise.  
  
I hear you now, Dad.  
  
"It won't be okay, James." Nicholas sobbed, "And I won't rest until that's  
fixed."  
  
_ Neither will I._  
  
A.N I don't own James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Peter Pettigrew or Lucius Malfoy – these characters belong to the wonderful JK Rowling – as does Hogwarts, death eaters and Minnerva McGonagal. I was only borrowing these characters and places to play with. I do, however own Nicholas and Emily Potter – their house, and my skateboard. I do not own the title of this story - it comes from the song, "Dreams of our fathers" By Dave Matthews Band, as does the lyric exert at the top of the story. Thanks to Joanne – if we hadn't gone skating, I wouldn't have been on the train yesterday morning and come up with this idea. Thanks to Joy – always there to listen and help out. And finally – thanks to my geography teacher – its because of the assignment you set, I seem to find myself doing everything I can to avoid doing it! (including writing a nine page long story) Thanks - Chex


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